Game 3 Recap

Game 3
Flying Elephants vs. The Blazers

Team Member Grades

NK47 (A) – Noel played an unconscious game on both ends of the floor. Really stepped up his game when his team needed him most.

Anicito (B+) – played lock down defense on the Blazers’ best player and even felt some offense come back slowly.

K-Diggs (B) – hard fouls and intimidating beard cleared the way for Kenny to grab a tremendous amount of rebounds. Some mental mistakes on defense led to easy baskets.

Robbie Hart (A) – Robbie’s offense and shooting ability were once again prevelant and extrememly necessary for the Elephants to be competitive.

Buffalo Ant (B) – Anthony’s having a hard time finding his shot but it was his defense and rebounding that was needed most for the Elephants last night.

Ritchie Rich (N/A) – Ritchie was a last minute scratch as the team found out he was commissioned by Allan Houston to work on his jump shooting in Houston’s last ditch effort to crack the NBA.

B-Cyrious (N/A) – dinner party to celebrate Kristie’s birthday. Happy birthday Kristie, remember when you used to come to our games?

Last night was a night of mixed emotions for the Flying Elephants. The Blazers had acquired former Elephant James Schories, who became an unrestricted free agent, in the off-season. The Elephants made a contract offer on the low end of what James was looking for due to concerns about his weekly attendance. Then the Blazers swooped in and put James in a position to join their team. James’ mere presence was heartwarming. Thoughts of his half closed eyes, phantom jump rope dance, and bewildered look whenever the team talked about defensive schemes tiptoed back into everyone’s head. It wasn’t long ago that James was a part of the championship team that defeated cross town rival Queens. Still fresh with feelings of camaraderie, the Elephants had to now go from friend to foe in a matter of a couple of weeks.

Anicito was summoned with the task of playing James in a box-in-one defense. Even though James wasn’t the prolific scorer that box-in-one’s are meant for, his pure ability to control a game with drives to the basket and clear court vision can get debilitating. Coach Kenny knew that stopping him at the source was key to a victory and since in Kenny’s warped mind James stood less than six feet, Anicito was his man (although there is no truth to that, Anicito can and will guard anyone between six-seven feet, 7’1 and over might pose a problem). So the task was set. The other four Elephants would sit in a box zone and try to contain the other Blazers who had some threats in James Glass’ three point shot and madman Pat who can hurt any team on the boards. The Elephants had to also be aware of Casey who the Elephants had signed to an offer sheet in the off-season but the Blazers quickly matched, as they had an enormous amount of cap room after AJ and the kid with the headband and John Leguizamo mustache left for free agency. Casey was a big man who could finish but not a killer so the Elephants were willing to take their chances.

The Blazers got off to a 7-0 lead and left the Elephants searching for answers on how to get going on the offensive end. After a couple of outside jump shots that didn’t go down the Elephants decided to attack the basket. Going to the low post with Anthony and Anicito, opened things up on the outside for Robbie and Noel to pour in the shots. And that is exactly what they did. With much of the attention being paid on Robbie, Noel was left more open than a bottle of Sprite at a pizza party, except Noel wasn’t flat. Noel was the Hudson, water! The Elephants pulled ahead as they went on a 19-9 run to overtake the lead. The Blazers would not crumble however. With each bucket, the Blazers answered with a tantalizing force in their big men. An out of shape Ronny Seikly filled the paint and hit some crucial outside shots. Casey cleaned the boards, keeping the Elephants on their heels. By half time the Elephants led 28-24.

Coming out of the break the Elephants knew that they needed to pull from within to win this game. With only 5 men on the active roster, there wasn’t going to be any backup. The Elephants would get a bucket, the Blazers would match. They ruled the day, we held the night. It was an exchange of tremendous heavyweight blows, Rocky IV style. The game was tight as the half wound down. But that was all dissipated when Noel and Robbie made big shots and more importantly capitalized on free throw opportunities.

The Elephants won in convincing fashion. Beating a very good team, while being undermanned. The team is now 3-0. A big game versus Queens is coming up but the Elephants will be once again short as the Mahlers are heading away for business. Some key reserves might have to be called up from the D-league.

Game 2 Recap

Game 2 Recap

The Flying Elephants vs. Golden Sunshine (Chucky)

Team Member Grades

NK47 (B) – Couldn’t quite get the sharpshooter to come out last night but was a staple in the offense and filled up the zone defense.

Anicito (B-) – Continues to struggle in the offense, commited some early turnovers but used his defense to try to make a statement .

K-Diggs (B) – Hit the boards nicely and committed some timely fouls.

Richy Rich (B) – Couldn’t find his shot last night but was a good facilitator in the offense, moving the ball. Found himself too deep in the zone to get out to shooters.

B-Cyrious (A-) – dominated the glass and cleaned up the boards. Rebounded well but needs to move more within the zone defense.

Buffalo Ant (B+) – his offensive game didn’t show through until the very end but his defense and rebounding really helped.

Robbie Hart (A-) – picked up the Elephants scoring load as usual. As with Ritchie, he wasn’t getting out to the perimeter to defend the shooters.

Tonight would present the Elephants with another challenge. Still finding their identity with new teammate Richy Rich Mahler, the Elephants faced an opponant that resembled a Chucky doll. Those of you who are horror film fans should remember the 1988 classic. The movie about a doll with red hair and freckles who wore overalls and sneakers. When somehow possessed by the devil, the 24inch doll awoke and became this menacing killer. (Note to Kenny, Brian, Noel and Brittany: Would you also consider this movie a masterpiece of horror?? “Hi, Im Chucky want to play?”) Its not that the team was 24inches with ginger hair, but they had a deceptive look to them. They looked corney and dorky. They had a goofy big man, a milky white, blonde headed boy, of the 6, 4 wore glasses, they didn’t look like ball players. However, on the court they were cold blooded killers. Maybe I am exaggerating a bit, but relatively speaking they could be competitve, hell they were in the JCC finals last season, so that has to say something.

Coach K-Diggs wanted to try something new last night within the offense. He instituted himself into the starting lineup and benched Buffalo Ant. This had nothing to do with personal performance, it had more to do with getting Ritchie and Robbie open looks off his menacing screens. To open the game this worked well, and the Elephants took a 16-10 lead. The 3-2 zone that the Elephants played in had its holes. The Golden Girls moved the ball well and the Elephants had a hard time rotating which created open shots that were exploited. When the Golden Child’s made their first sub it was a ghost of Christmas past, Sally Sideburns. One of the original members of the Flying Elephants, Sally Sideburns looked the same and unfortunetley played the same. He was aggressive and out of control but hustled which some could make the case made him an asset.

Throughout the first half the Elephants held a 6-8 point lead all the way through. With two minutes left in the half Robbie Hart subbed and another unlucky bathroom visit by Kenny (note: anytime Kenny goes to the bathroom, peculiar things occur), the Elephants committed turnovers and mishaps that brought the Golden Nuggets even to end the half, 28-28.

The second half was no better for the Elephants. The offense was stagnant and the defense was fatiuging. The game was at a stalemate when the 5 on court decided to go from a 3-2 to a 2-3 zone (another note: we need to have 1 voice on this team or it’s not going to work. There seems to be too many chiefs and not enough native americans (they’re not indians, Columbus didn’t realize that the continenant he landed on was a new world and not India)). The Goldtooth Grenades hit four consecutive three-point shots on the defenders at the top of the key. The Elephants found themselves down by 5 with four minutes to go. B-Cyrious was eating boards and getting put backs like they were going out of style. And Robbie did what he could to keep the Elephants as close as possible. At the 3 minute mark, the Golden Grease Crotchers were holding the ball. An insensed Anicito literally almost tackled one of the kids who looked a Weezer band member in a blind rage. This was his way of saying we need to go to a man defense and not let them hold the ball against us. And that’s what the Elephants had to do, they had no choice with the game winding down.

The Elephants found themselves getting stops and attacking the basket. Robbie Hart got an open look for a three (his foot might have been over the line…but Mike the Worst Ref in the Universe didn’t see it). Another stop by the Elephants and B-Cyrious gets his own miss and lays it in to tie the game. The Elephants foul their big man to put him to the line. He misses the first. Misses the second but oh wait, Mike The Worst Ref in the Universe calls a lane violation on Ritchie. Redo the shot but he misses anyway. 46 seconds left and the Elephants want to hold for the last shot but a double came onto Robbie, he splits it and gets an open lane where he gets fouled. He sinks both free throws. A quick outlet by Golden Goose Squad and the kid Vin gets his only basket to tie the game with 20 seconds left. Once again the Elephants plan for the last shot. Ritchie bringing up the ball, makes a bad pass to Robbie but it hits off his leg and come right back to Ritchie. The clock is rapidly winding down. Robbie cant get, open, Buffalo Ant gets a pass on the wing and sinks his only three of the game to put the Elephants ahead with .5 seconds left. It was a marvelous victory for the Elephants as they go to 2-0 on the season.

Playoffs

Game 2 Recap

Flying Elephants vs. Boris the Spider

K-Diggs (B-) - played a hard fought game as always. Was slightly exposed by a 6'4 post player.

Anicito (B) - provided defensive stops on the 6'+ players. Was hesitant with his jumper that was not falling.

Buffalo Ant (B) - worked hard on the boards. Solid game.

Noel (B-) - kills it in warmups but struggles in the games. Needs to knock down his jumper. Ran the floor well and hustled.

Robbie (A+) - made the big shot time after time.

James (B+) - played great defensively and moved the ball well.

The Elephants came out last night to defend their crown once again. In game two of the season they now face a formidable opponent in the new and improved purple team. A team that always had some talent but now featured long-range threat Gleb, a point guard from CSI, and the poor man's version of Mike Alfieri. Clearly this team wanted to make a name for themselves right away, and who better to do it against than the JCC champs, the Flying Elephants.

The team would already be without their starting center, B-Cyrious. Brian needed to attend some sort of family function that no doubtingly ended up with an alcohol induced sleep coma under the dining room table. With the onset of the game, the team was also without guard Robbie Hart. Right before tip off, Robbie hustled into the gym after forgetting his Dr. Scholls insoles mid-drive, causing him to be late. Nonetheless, he started and the battle ensued.

On the opening possession, Anicito's man, Gleb, went to the basket and scored, with Anicito giving him the softest foul, and 1! Kenny immediately got on Anicito's case wanting to switch the match-up. There was no way Anicito would let Kenny switch the defense six seconds into the game. Kenny needed to relax! However, the Elephants never did really relax. The first half would be rushed shots, turnovers, and in explicit defensive mismatches. The Elephants trailed by five after shooting poorly and Gleb making two three pointers a foot from half court.

Robbie had a tough first half. Maybe it was because he was still warming up after pulling his best Allen Iverson impersonation and showing up at game time. But Robbie, who will now be known as Big Shot Rob (BSR), pulled out all the stops in the second half. The Elephants trailed most of the game until the 9 minute mark when Robbie started making his shot. James would make a move to the basket and kick out to Rob or Kenny would set a devastating screen that would open up Robbie, and BSR would just knock it down. There is something to be said about BSR's jump shot. The only way to describe it is as though he is alone, in solitude. If you took him off the court, dressed him in nothing but his Elephant jersey and implanted him on an Indiana corn field shooting a torn up, half deflated ball into a rusted hoop with no net, thats what it looks like.. Picture the sun setting and the haze filling the cool night. BSR is out there long after everyone else has gone in to play spin the bottle. The wind blowing through his lovely hair. His sexy behind eating up the atmosphere and only his grey Elephant shirt gripping his body. No one around, no pressure, no worries. Just him wistfully shooting the ball. Thats what its like watching BSR shoot. No one around. Relaxed. Do not mistake this as anything more than a mancrush for BSR because he is an exquisite shooter. When given the chance, he knocks his shots down.

And the second half of last night was no exception. Not only did BSR knock down big time shots, he did a great job in setting up his team. Led the break and fed Noel for a lay-up. Attacked the basket and dished off to Anicito for a contested lay in. With James carrying the load on the defensive end and running the point, BSR shined. Let me be clear, no trunk is bigger than an elephant, BSR's is only as good as his weakest teammate.

The champs pulled off the victory as the defense got stops. BSR and co came through when needed and once again the team played against the 6th man of the year, Marc Levine as he hates to see the Flying Elephants soar and will never give us the call. Thats two quality teams that the Elephants have faced to start off the year. Let's keep it going fellas.

Game 1 Defending Champs

8/13/09

Flying Elephants vs. Duck Down Squad (DDS)

K-Diggs (B-) - lost a couple of grades for continuously arguing with Marc.

NK47 (A-)- Noel was effective with his jumper and did a good job on the boards.

B-Cyrious (B+) - played big and tough. Rushed his jumper at times.

Anicito (B) - couldn't find his jumper but did a quality job on the boards.

Robbie Hart (A) - opened up on fire. fueled the Elephants points productions.

Shories (A-) - excelled on the defensive end and attacked the basket. Forced passes at times and dribbled into trouble.

Buffalo Ant (?) - how does one grade a player who walks in at halftime...

"A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval." - Mark Twain

Last night was the first game of the new season and the Elephants were light on their feet, feeling like champs and knowing that there is a big bulls eye on their trunks. There was a pre-game rendezvous at Elephant HQ as Kenny, Noel, and Brian decided that some Elephants were "hot" and some were "cute" (see the poll and cast your vote). James was a unanimous vote for "hot" as he strolled through the door looking all Richard Greico from If Looks Could Kill, with his suit and neatly combed hair.

Groupies who have been following the Elephants have noticed a new found swagger in their step, a grin in their smile, a sense of entitlement that comes from being the champs. But with great achievement comes great jealously. It seemed as though as the five members walked into the gym there was a hush that waved over the crowd. Marc had a look of disgust on his face while reffing the current game being played, fans had disdain in their eyes, and even the two teams playing stopped and stared. Noel was eye banged by the security guard at the desk after writing in his name in the book, Noel King a.k.a. Sexy Ass JCC Champion.

The maroon team who had been playing before the Elephants took the court decided to stick around and scout the current champs. The game was scheduled to start around 9pm due to Buffalo Ant's request. It seems as though Ant was taking a date to see The Time Traveler's Wife and needed the extra hour. Robbie Hart strolled in two minutes to game time, nothing new but Anthony was nowhere to be found. The Elephants' opponent, Duck Down Squad, aka the Juicebags from Baghdad. The Elephants knocked DDS out of the playoffs in the semi-finals. DDS now had something to prove. With their 12 man roster they might have felt confident that the Elephants were depleted and looked tired. But what they mistaken for fatigue was really comfort. The road to winning the championship last season was a combination of two things. 1. The Elephants were firing on all cylinders. For whatever reason, the team had gelled. This translated into less turnover, easy shots, and stop-gap defenses. Secondly, Kenny made a deal with a six-arm goddess (picture insert) that secured each Elephant's place in purgatory for the chip.

Robbie opened up the game on fire. Hitting his first three threes, DDS couldnt find him on the perimeter. And that is how the night started. James brought the heat on defense swiping away the ball at least four times for steals that translated to fast break opportunities. B-Cyrious was a major factor in contending with DDS's big men, grabbing on to boards and making a great outlet pass. Anicito and Kenny worked the boards and did some of the nitty gritty to make sure Robbie and James had easy shots. Coming off the bench, Noel lit up the nets. His shot was clean, crisp, and went down easier than a glass of milk after a PB&J sandwich.

At half-time the Elephants held an 11 point lead to the chagrin of DDS. The Elephants were feeling great about the game except for the bonehead calls totally missed by Marc and Kenny continuously fighting with him. For no apparent reason Marc started with the team for James not having a shirt with a number. And then there were no calls and after James let the ball hit off his leg on a free throw, he was through. At one point James was literally held by a defensive player going to the basket and Marc didnt make the call.

As the second half was about to begin Buffalo Ant hustled in carrying his quintessential blue sneakers and Under Armour gear. This would only help the team securing rebounds but Ant's shot was way off as he didnt even have a chance to warm up. It didnt make much of a difference however as Robbie shot continued to go down. Kenny helped out with some nice inbound passes. There is also a moment that features Kenny running halfway down the court with his arm up and tomahawk chopped the ball from behind on someone. Although it was clean it was a miracle no foul was called.

Noel continues to gun for Anicito's starting spot. Ciritcs would suggest that tampering with the starting lineup like Larry Brown is never a good thing. Note to Noel: coming off the bench with a successful jump shot is more beneficial than "starting". Get your head out of your vagina! Do you want to be traded 4 times before the season like Quintin Richardson?...No? then shut up!

It was a good win for the champs. It could have been an easy game that got away. It would not have been a way to start off the new season. Next Wednesday the trunks are back in action as they take on the Purple Penis Eaters.

Road to the Chip

Disclaimer: This post will be long and laborious. This will cover substance that the reader may not understand or be privy to. This is mainly for the 7 Flying Elephants as it chronicles their run to the championship. Reader beware.

"I've paid my dues..."
For those of you who dont know how the Flying Elephants came about, it started in a very auspicious way. Like the implosion of a star the Flying Elephants were born from a team that no longer exists. As a star burns bright and furious, so did Granite Design. Noel King (NK47) who was a staple at the JCC each season as he struggled to get competitive teams, he found the remnants of Huskies. Bobby Schroder was the key player on the Huskies. Noel recruited him for a new team he wanted to put into the league. Bobby accepted and on a sunny day that boasted Kenny Perry's (K-Diggs) 5 on 5 tournament, Bobby recruited Mike Anicito, a fellow Husky. Bobby also tagged Vic Castore, Vic's dad Don, and big man Nick. Noel found Brian Cyriacks (B-Cyrious) and Lil Brian. B-Cyrious was once a star in Tottenville but hurt his back and had been struggling to be the player he once was. Lil Brian was fresh off the ice cream truck ready to play. From the first time Mike Anicito met Brian, Noel, and Lil Brian, they were claiming each others mothers, making homosexual innuendos, and verbally abusing each other every chance they got; so naturally Anicito fit in from the start. Like a dying star, Granite Design didnt do too well. Anicito, B-Cyrious, Noel, and Lil Brian became quickly disgusted and decided to spin off to form their own team. K-Diggs had just quit the juice bag team and was also looking for a place to land. Kenny had solicited Noel for sexual favors on the Internet under the screen name Sexyluv15, but when Noel saw who Sexyluv15 really was he decided to talk basketball instead of bats and balls. With the five of them, they needed a scoring sensation and B-Cyrious pulled out a tremendous signing in Robbie Mahler. Noel found Sally Sideburns and the first team was assembled. The night that the team put a solid squad together, Kenny had a dream. In this dream he was running, being chased by an elephant. Somehow Kenny started to fly and the elephant followed. All around them were floating basketballs. and then the elephant spoke. "kenny, i am here to tell you that your new basketball team is larger than you. they are strong and smart. they're size in numbers is intimidating. they're skin is tough and can overcome anything. most of them have large trunks, especially Anicito. it is your destiny to bring forth THE FLYING ELEPHANTS". when kenny awoke, he was sweating. he immediately called the team and put into action the Flying Elephants name. Noel, being a master artist came up with the logo of an elephant in a Michael Jordan air flight and created what is now one of the most iconic symbols in our society.

"And bad mistakes, i made a few..."
With Sally Sideburn scorching up and down the court the Elephants inaugural season was cut short in the first round of the playoffs. The Elephants needed a more solid player, some with Sal's size but who could be a bigger part of vision. The juicebag team Kenny played with prior had a point-forward that was an out-of-towner. His name, Anthony Jason from Buffalo. Standing at 6'3, the newly dubbed Buffalo Ant would be a sweet complement to B-Cyrious down low, while providing an outside threat and court awareness. With a fully equipped team the Elephants were a force to be reckoned with. With Robbie leading the way on the offensive end, Kenny using brute force to intimate, Anicito providing defensive stops, Noel hitting outside shots, and Brian completely dominating the paint, the Elephants competed intensely but still got bounced by a new team that was commuting from Queens.

With the advent of this new team, players started to coalesce. A love fest arrived for all Elephants in the manliest of manly ways. Hangouts became frequent, NBA2K8 tournaments, Flying Elephant Christmas Party, Flying Elephant Pennsylvania getaways, mini golf extravaganzas, you name it. The team expanded their man crush on each other from the court to the outside world. At any time you can catch Kenny and B-Cyrious smoking an Indian cigarette together discussing bead-making. Or maybe you would find Buffalo Ant and Noel walking from KJs to the Marina Cafe in a drunken stupor. Robbie and Anicito often spend time rollerblading along South Beach.

The Elephants made some really deep runs in the playoffs but couldnt get over the hump of the team from Queens. Kenny decided to use his GM position and acquire the quickest free agent guard in the league, James Schories. James took the eighth spot on the team and quickly fit into the antics of the Flying Elephants. But that year the team was bounced in the first round of what was the most disappointing season to date. Lil Brian subsequently quit the Elephants for greener bush. But the team did not fret.

"But it's been no bed of roses, no pleasure cruise"
This season the Elephants struggled for most of the year. With members missing games and the luster that once beheld the Elephant position dwindling, the Flying Elephants needed a boost. The team finsihed in the 9th spot of the seeding chart going into the playoffs. Their first opponent was the juicebags that were handled easily with Noel providing key points and B-Cyrious turning up the heat with the big men. Then, by some stroke of luck Gleb's team (#1 overall seed) lost to Markowitz in the ultimate desolation of teammates. Without K-Diggs in the lineup due to chronic ankle injuries, the Flying Elephants secured Markowitz and advanced to the finals.

"I've had my share of sand kicked in my face, but I've come through"
The Elephants took the floor against none other than their arch nemesis, the team from Queens. 3 time defending champs. Unbeaten versus the Elephants. Could the Elephants mentally overcome an opponent who they havent beat in three seasons? Kenny was still feeling the aches and pains of his ankle injury, Anicito was diagnosed with an infected toe and was a game time decision to play, it was going to be a lot to handle for this team. Thankfully Elephants cant be easily moved. There was no way Kenny or Anicito wouldnt be part of what they worked so hard for. After getting warmed up with a three on three, the team was called in by K-Diggs for a speech. It went something like this:

"my boys. we have finally come down the road of our dreams. it was here that we told ourselves that this game is more than a game. it was here that we sweat, bled, and cried all those years. If you told me we'd be in the championship mid year, i would say you're nuts. But now, watching us grow in the playoffs and up until this point, we are ready. We cannot let a team from queens think they can come here to our island and push us around. We wont stand for it! As the 16th President, a one Abraham Lincoln once said, 'you can hold an elephant by his hind legs for only so long. once released there is no telling how far he can go'. Let's do this."

The Elephants were ready. The team came out in a box and one on Tim. James did his best to corral the nifty scorer but it was to no avail. Tim spurned the Elephants for 14 straight points. He was immaculate from the line and creepy strong going to the hoop. The Elephants went down quick 15-10 when Kenny called their final timeout of the half. The Elephants were rattled. They were rushing their shots, turning the ball over. They were playing scared. Maybe it was the tension of being in the finals, maybe it was just the fact the there were beautiful ladies watching. No matter what it was, it wasnt the Elephants that we know and love. Getting back out on the floor there was a struggle with B-Cyrious fighting and kicking to hang on to the ball. with Brian threading the base line Anicito instinctively called a timeout to secure the possession. Only problem was there were no more timeouts, resulting in a technical foul. Tim knocked them down giving Queens their largest lead of the game, 7 points, and putting the hopes and dreams of a championship on the edge of oblivion. But there is just something about the Elephants that lasts. A change in the defensive scheme, the Elephants went to a 3-2 zone and played it really well. Robbie and James then stepped up their offensive game. Robbie was once again lights out when he got open. James did a great job getting to the basket and drawing fouls or passing off to the open man. Buffalo Ant knocked down a three and B-Cyrious cleaned up the boards. Noel, who has been nothing less than the ultimate spark plug, came off the bench and cashed in his jumpers. While Kenny did a heck of job setting the tone on driving players, making sure their cruise was never a comfortable one. The Elephants made a run and at half time, playing like absolute excrement, only trailed by 3.

Anicito's head had slipped somewhere else as his passes were rushed and his game time was off. Sitting for the start of the second half proved to get him back to normal as he knocked down some mid-range jumpers. Robbie was unconscious. Three pointer after three pointer, Robert Mahler was the man. While Brian, Kenny, and Anthony got boards, Anicito and Noel aggravated on the perimeter, and James was his classic Jimmy Hustle. The Elephants simply made shots and got stops. The second half of last night's game was phenomenal.

"Cause we are the champions, my friend. And we'll keep on fighting till the end"
The Elephants finally bested Queens and secured their place in MBL history. Last nights victory solidified a lot of time and hard work for all members.

What you mean to us:

Kenny - what you mean to us is leadership, toughness, and sens ability. A light when we cant see. the penis in a mangina.

Robbie - our MVP. our go to man. Without fear and always giving it your all. a penis hole in an apple pie.

B-Cyrious - grit, hard work. sometimes without mention but your effort is a huge reason we're champs. a true warrior. a stiff penis when we arent wearing underwear.

James - a Tasmanian devil of a defender. slick, sliky, finesse. a smile to hold all smiles, inspiring teammate. a smooth penis.

Anicito - gives us all he's got like it will be his last game. ultimate teammate, loyal to the core. a veiny penis.

Noel - a true friend first. our delegate and sniper. sacrifice is in your blood. a chopped off penis only to be sewed back on with a few extra inches.

Buffalo Ant - determined and willed to success. realistic and knowledgeable of expectations. an outlined sketch of a penis that is life size and true.

The Elephants celebrated their victory at KJs last night. It was a fun filled night of spray beers, poured down the collar beers, jack shots, car bombs, dance-offs, and complete silliness, everything an Elephant is made of.

Special thanks to all supporters of the Flying Elephants. All family and friends. Christine for always being there, Brit for not being there in fear Brian would blame you if we lost (i still missed you), Christie for keeping the Elephants in her heart, Joe for almost making it out but had a volleyball game, even the haters like Bobby and Jay - you cant put an elephant in a box. Great victory guys, I love you all. Let's do it again this season. Enjoy some pics from last night's after-party. Notice every one's beer stains.

Round 1 of the Playoffs Recap

July 14, 2009

Team Member Grades

NK47 (B) - Had an effective first half shooting the ball. Seemed like fatigue set in as his shot collapsed and his energy was dampened.

Diggs (B+) - although he was over matched against AJ, Kenny did a great job limiting his production while creating space for the guards on the offensive end.

B-Cyrious (B) - got big on the post. Forced his shot at times. Did his best to keep Casey off the glass.

Anicito (B+) - played effective defense where and when necessary and made some knock down shots.

Schories (A-) - ran the court well, finding the open man and pushing the ball. Turnovers hurt his grade but were offset by the fact that he was 2-2 from the free throw line.

Robbie Hart (A) - Robbie struggled to find good looks in the first half but still managed to make the best of his jumpers.

Buffalo Ant (NO SHOW) - wtf!! he originally asks noel for games on Tuesday and he doesnt show. He better have a more suitable excuse than softball...

Noel sent the text to everyone that the game was at 8pm against Richie Mahler. Anicito was the first to arrive at the gym, looking to get a sweat going before the game. To his chagrin, he noticed the other team was the light blue team and not Richie and co. A text was immediately sent to player/coach/patriarch Kenny, letting him know that today's discussion about match ups and game plan was all in vain. But as Anicito warmed up he noticed the red team walking into the gym and it was dawned on him; Alfieri screwed up again! If you go to dictionary.com and type in Mike Alfieri you will see this:

Mike Alfieri [myke Al-feer-ee]
-noun.
1. Nice guy, good looking but slightly balding, perpetually tan, always wears a baseball cap.
2. Doltish. Devoid of attention to detail. Has the memory of a coffee bean.

Alfieri who is notorious for giving us a time and then giving it to two other team stuck again. So the Elephants had to watch the light blue vs. the red game. They made the best of it though. Diggs was JCC's Ace Rothstein, making the over under and spread on the game. Diggs actually called the half spread, taking Red minus 6 (they led by 7) and the over of 42 1/2 (43 total points). However, he gave it all back with the 87 total over (well under)and Red minus 13 (won by 4). James actually called the 4. Robbie said he had to go to the bathroom but didnt return until 5 minutes before the Elephants took the court. Little did we know, he meant the bathroom at his house!

Richie Mahler was a no show due to medical reasons. We wish his a speedy recovery. However, it did mute the game a little considering the sibling rivalry that would have been on the court between him and Robbie. The Elephants went up against the twin towers in Casey and AJ, James Glass, #4 (good guard), and a no name. Without Buffalo Ant it was up to B-Cyrious and Kenny to do the heavy lifting down low. Kenny was hell bent on sticking AJ. But they were too big for the Elephants. Third and fourth chance opportunities went to Casey and AJ. Thankfully they didnt convert and the Elephants got off to a tremendous lead (23-8) to open the game. James and Robbie ran the floor well, Anicito and Noel hit a couple of jumpers, and Kenny and B-Cyrious ruled the paint. AJ and co made a run at the half to bring the deficit to 9.

It was then that their defense switched from a man-to-man to a 3-2 zone. This gave the Elephants some problems. Jumpers for Robbie, Noel and James were all contested. With AJ and Casey down low it was hard for anyone to get to the basket. The Elephant lead was cut to 4 with 13 minutes to play. That was when basketball IQ took over and the value of team chemistry. James and Robbie attacked the basket and knew where their teammates where to dish to. Getting stops was key. With Kenny in foul trouble, Anicito and B-Cyrious cutoff the production of the bigs while Robbie and James made two big baskets. As the game winded down it was crucial for the Elephants to make their free throws. James made two for two, while Robbie dripped 5 of 6.

The Elephants looked real good in the first round of the playoffs last night. They played a controlled game against a formidable opponent. They stared adversity in the eye and ripped right through it. Next week's game is against Sammy Said and the juice brothers. It will be another test against a good team. No one said that the road to a championship would be easy.