Game 2 Recap

Flying Elephants vs. Boris the Spider

K-Diggs (B-) - played a hard fought game as always. Was slightly exposed by a 6'4 post player.

Anicito (B) - provided defensive stops on the 6'+ players. Was hesitant with his jumper that was not falling.

Buffalo Ant (B) - worked hard on the boards. Solid game.

Noel (B-) - kills it in warmups but struggles in the games. Needs to knock down his jumper. Ran the floor well and hustled.

Robbie (A+) - made the big shot time after time.

James (B+) - played great defensively and moved the ball well.

The Elephants came out last night to defend their crown once again. In game two of the season they now face a formidable opponent in the new and improved purple team. A team that always had some talent but now featured long-range threat Gleb, a point guard from CSI, and the poor man's version of Mike Alfieri. Clearly this team wanted to make a name for themselves right away, and who better to do it against than the JCC champs, the Flying Elephants.

The team would already be without their starting center, B-Cyrious. Brian needed to attend some sort of family function that no doubtingly ended up with an alcohol induced sleep coma under the dining room table. With the onset of the game, the team was also without guard Robbie Hart. Right before tip off, Robbie hustled into the gym after forgetting his Dr. Scholls insoles mid-drive, causing him to be late. Nonetheless, he started and the battle ensued.

On the opening possession, Anicito's man, Gleb, went to the basket and scored, with Anicito giving him the softest foul, and 1! Kenny immediately got on Anicito's case wanting to switch the match-up. There was no way Anicito would let Kenny switch the defense six seconds into the game. Kenny needed to relax! However, the Elephants never did really relax. The first half would be rushed shots, turnovers, and in explicit defensive mismatches. The Elephants trailed by five after shooting poorly and Gleb making two three pointers a foot from half court.

Robbie had a tough first half. Maybe it was because he was still warming up after pulling his best Allen Iverson impersonation and showing up at game time. But Robbie, who will now be known as Big Shot Rob (BSR), pulled out all the stops in the second half. The Elephants trailed most of the game until the 9 minute mark when Robbie started making his shot. James would make a move to the basket and kick out to Rob or Kenny would set a devastating screen that would open up Robbie, and BSR would just knock it down. There is something to be said about BSR's jump shot. The only way to describe it is as though he is alone, in solitude. If you took him off the court, dressed him in nothing but his Elephant jersey and implanted him on an Indiana corn field shooting a torn up, half deflated ball into a rusted hoop with no net, thats what it looks like.. Picture the sun setting and the haze filling the cool night. BSR is out there long after everyone else has gone in to play spin the bottle. The wind blowing through his lovely hair. His sexy behind eating up the atmosphere and only his grey Elephant shirt gripping his body. No one around, no pressure, no worries. Just him wistfully shooting the ball. Thats what its like watching BSR shoot. No one around. Relaxed. Do not mistake this as anything more than a mancrush for BSR because he is an exquisite shooter. When given the chance, he knocks his shots down.

And the second half of last night was no exception. Not only did BSR knock down big time shots, he did a great job in setting up his team. Led the break and fed Noel for a lay-up. Attacked the basket and dished off to Anicito for a contested lay in. With James carrying the load on the defensive end and running the point, BSR shined. Let me be clear, no trunk is bigger than an elephant, BSR's is only as good as his weakest teammate.

The champs pulled off the victory as the defense got stops. BSR and co came through when needed and once again the team played against the 6th man of the year, Marc Levine as he hates to see the Flying Elephants soar and will never give us the call. Thats two quality teams that the Elephants have faced to start off the year. Let's keep it going fellas.

Game 1 Defending Champs

8/13/09

Flying Elephants vs. Duck Down Squad (DDS)

K-Diggs (B-) - lost a couple of grades for continuously arguing with Marc.

NK47 (A-)- Noel was effective with his jumper and did a good job on the boards.

B-Cyrious (B+) - played big and tough. Rushed his jumper at times.

Anicito (B) - couldn't find his jumper but did a quality job on the boards.

Robbie Hart (A) - opened up on fire. fueled the Elephants points productions.

Shories (A-) - excelled on the defensive end and attacked the basket. Forced passes at times and dribbled into trouble.

Buffalo Ant (?) - how does one grade a player who walks in at halftime...

"A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval." - Mark Twain

Last night was the first game of the new season and the Elephants were light on their feet, feeling like champs and knowing that there is a big bulls eye on their trunks. There was a pre-game rendezvous at Elephant HQ as Kenny, Noel, and Brian decided that some Elephants were "hot" and some were "cute" (see the poll and cast your vote). James was a unanimous vote for "hot" as he strolled through the door looking all Richard Greico from If Looks Could Kill, with his suit and neatly combed hair.

Groupies who have been following the Elephants have noticed a new found swagger in their step, a grin in their smile, a sense of entitlement that comes from being the champs. But with great achievement comes great jealously. It seemed as though as the five members walked into the gym there was a hush that waved over the crowd. Marc had a look of disgust on his face while reffing the current game being played, fans had disdain in their eyes, and even the two teams playing stopped and stared. Noel was eye banged by the security guard at the desk after writing in his name in the book, Noel King a.k.a. Sexy Ass JCC Champion.

The maroon team who had been playing before the Elephants took the court decided to stick around and scout the current champs. The game was scheduled to start around 9pm due to Buffalo Ant's request. It seems as though Ant was taking a date to see The Time Traveler's Wife and needed the extra hour. Robbie Hart strolled in two minutes to game time, nothing new but Anthony was nowhere to be found. The Elephants' opponent, Duck Down Squad, aka the Juicebags from Baghdad. The Elephants knocked DDS out of the playoffs in the semi-finals. DDS now had something to prove. With their 12 man roster they might have felt confident that the Elephants were depleted and looked tired. But what they mistaken for fatigue was really comfort. The road to winning the championship last season was a combination of two things. 1. The Elephants were firing on all cylinders. For whatever reason, the team had gelled. This translated into less turnover, easy shots, and stop-gap defenses. Secondly, Kenny made a deal with a six-arm goddess (picture insert) that secured each Elephant's place in purgatory for the chip.

Robbie opened up the game on fire. Hitting his first three threes, DDS couldnt find him on the perimeter. And that is how the night started. James brought the heat on defense swiping away the ball at least four times for steals that translated to fast break opportunities. B-Cyrious was a major factor in contending with DDS's big men, grabbing on to boards and making a great outlet pass. Anicito and Kenny worked the boards and did some of the nitty gritty to make sure Robbie and James had easy shots. Coming off the bench, Noel lit up the nets. His shot was clean, crisp, and went down easier than a glass of milk after a PB&J sandwich.

At half-time the Elephants held an 11 point lead to the chagrin of DDS. The Elephants were feeling great about the game except for the bonehead calls totally missed by Marc and Kenny continuously fighting with him. For no apparent reason Marc started with the team for James not having a shirt with a number. And then there were no calls and after James let the ball hit off his leg on a free throw, he was through. At one point James was literally held by a defensive player going to the basket and Marc didnt make the call.

As the second half was about to begin Buffalo Ant hustled in carrying his quintessential blue sneakers and Under Armour gear. This would only help the team securing rebounds but Ant's shot was way off as he didnt even have a chance to warm up. It didnt make much of a difference however as Robbie shot continued to go down. Kenny helped out with some nice inbound passes. There is also a moment that features Kenny running halfway down the court with his arm up and tomahawk chopped the ball from behind on someone. Although it was clean it was a miracle no foul was called.

Noel continues to gun for Anicito's starting spot. Ciritcs would suggest that tampering with the starting lineup like Larry Brown is never a good thing. Note to Noel: coming off the bench with a successful jump shot is more beneficial than "starting". Get your head out of your vagina! Do you want to be traded 4 times before the season like Quintin Richardson?...No? then shut up!

It was a good win for the champs. It could have been an easy game that got away. It would not have been a way to start off the new season. Next Wednesday the trunks are back in action as they take on the Purple Penis Eaters.

Road to the Chip

Disclaimer: This post will be long and laborious. This will cover substance that the reader may not understand or be privy to. This is mainly for the 7 Flying Elephants as it chronicles their run to the championship. Reader beware.

"I've paid my dues..."
For those of you who dont know how the Flying Elephants came about, it started in a very auspicious way. Like the implosion of a star the Flying Elephants were born from a team that no longer exists. As a star burns bright and furious, so did Granite Design. Noel King (NK47) who was a staple at the JCC each season as he struggled to get competitive teams, he found the remnants of Huskies. Bobby Schroder was the key player on the Huskies. Noel recruited him for a new team he wanted to put into the league. Bobby accepted and on a sunny day that boasted Kenny Perry's (K-Diggs) 5 on 5 tournament, Bobby recruited Mike Anicito, a fellow Husky. Bobby also tagged Vic Castore, Vic's dad Don, and big man Nick. Noel found Brian Cyriacks (B-Cyrious) and Lil Brian. B-Cyrious was once a star in Tottenville but hurt his back and had been struggling to be the player he once was. Lil Brian was fresh off the ice cream truck ready to play. From the first time Mike Anicito met Brian, Noel, and Lil Brian, they were claiming each others mothers, making homosexual innuendos, and verbally abusing each other every chance they got; so naturally Anicito fit in from the start. Like a dying star, Granite Design didnt do too well. Anicito, B-Cyrious, Noel, and Lil Brian became quickly disgusted and decided to spin off to form their own team. K-Diggs had just quit the juice bag team and was also looking for a place to land. Kenny had solicited Noel for sexual favors on the Internet under the screen name Sexyluv15, but when Noel saw who Sexyluv15 really was he decided to talk basketball instead of bats and balls. With the five of them, they needed a scoring sensation and B-Cyrious pulled out a tremendous signing in Robbie Mahler. Noel found Sally Sideburns and the first team was assembled. The night that the team put a solid squad together, Kenny had a dream. In this dream he was running, being chased by an elephant. Somehow Kenny started to fly and the elephant followed. All around them were floating basketballs. and then the elephant spoke. "kenny, i am here to tell you that your new basketball team is larger than you. they are strong and smart. they're size in numbers is intimidating. they're skin is tough and can overcome anything. most of them have large trunks, especially Anicito. it is your destiny to bring forth THE FLYING ELEPHANTS". when kenny awoke, he was sweating. he immediately called the team and put into action the Flying Elephants name. Noel, being a master artist came up with the logo of an elephant in a Michael Jordan air flight and created what is now one of the most iconic symbols in our society.

"And bad mistakes, i made a few..."
With Sally Sideburn scorching up and down the court the Elephants inaugural season was cut short in the first round of the playoffs. The Elephants needed a more solid player, some with Sal's size but who could be a bigger part of vision. The juicebag team Kenny played with prior had a point-forward that was an out-of-towner. His name, Anthony Jason from Buffalo. Standing at 6'3, the newly dubbed Buffalo Ant would be a sweet complement to B-Cyrious down low, while providing an outside threat and court awareness. With a fully equipped team the Elephants were a force to be reckoned with. With Robbie leading the way on the offensive end, Kenny using brute force to intimate, Anicito providing defensive stops, Noel hitting outside shots, and Brian completely dominating the paint, the Elephants competed intensely but still got bounced by a new team that was commuting from Queens.

With the advent of this new team, players started to coalesce. A love fest arrived for all Elephants in the manliest of manly ways. Hangouts became frequent, NBA2K8 tournaments, Flying Elephant Christmas Party, Flying Elephant Pennsylvania getaways, mini golf extravaganzas, you name it. The team expanded their man crush on each other from the court to the outside world. At any time you can catch Kenny and B-Cyrious smoking an Indian cigarette together discussing bead-making. Or maybe you would find Buffalo Ant and Noel walking from KJs to the Marina Cafe in a drunken stupor. Robbie and Anicito often spend time rollerblading along South Beach.

The Elephants made some really deep runs in the playoffs but couldnt get over the hump of the team from Queens. Kenny decided to use his GM position and acquire the quickest free agent guard in the league, James Schories. James took the eighth spot on the team and quickly fit into the antics of the Flying Elephants. But that year the team was bounced in the first round of what was the most disappointing season to date. Lil Brian subsequently quit the Elephants for greener bush. But the team did not fret.

"But it's been no bed of roses, no pleasure cruise"
This season the Elephants struggled for most of the year. With members missing games and the luster that once beheld the Elephant position dwindling, the Flying Elephants needed a boost. The team finsihed in the 9th spot of the seeding chart going into the playoffs. Their first opponent was the juicebags that were handled easily with Noel providing key points and B-Cyrious turning up the heat with the big men. Then, by some stroke of luck Gleb's team (#1 overall seed) lost to Markowitz in the ultimate desolation of teammates. Without K-Diggs in the lineup due to chronic ankle injuries, the Flying Elephants secured Markowitz and advanced to the finals.

"I've had my share of sand kicked in my face, but I've come through"
The Elephants took the floor against none other than their arch nemesis, the team from Queens. 3 time defending champs. Unbeaten versus the Elephants. Could the Elephants mentally overcome an opponent who they havent beat in three seasons? Kenny was still feeling the aches and pains of his ankle injury, Anicito was diagnosed with an infected toe and was a game time decision to play, it was going to be a lot to handle for this team. Thankfully Elephants cant be easily moved. There was no way Kenny or Anicito wouldnt be part of what they worked so hard for. After getting warmed up with a three on three, the team was called in by K-Diggs for a speech. It went something like this:

"my boys. we have finally come down the road of our dreams. it was here that we told ourselves that this game is more than a game. it was here that we sweat, bled, and cried all those years. If you told me we'd be in the championship mid year, i would say you're nuts. But now, watching us grow in the playoffs and up until this point, we are ready. We cannot let a team from queens think they can come here to our island and push us around. We wont stand for it! As the 16th President, a one Abraham Lincoln once said, 'you can hold an elephant by his hind legs for only so long. once released there is no telling how far he can go'. Let's do this."

The Elephants were ready. The team came out in a box and one on Tim. James did his best to corral the nifty scorer but it was to no avail. Tim spurned the Elephants for 14 straight points. He was immaculate from the line and creepy strong going to the hoop. The Elephants went down quick 15-10 when Kenny called their final timeout of the half. The Elephants were rattled. They were rushing their shots, turning the ball over. They were playing scared. Maybe it was the tension of being in the finals, maybe it was just the fact the there were beautiful ladies watching. No matter what it was, it wasnt the Elephants that we know and love. Getting back out on the floor there was a struggle with B-Cyrious fighting and kicking to hang on to the ball. with Brian threading the base line Anicito instinctively called a timeout to secure the possession. Only problem was there were no more timeouts, resulting in a technical foul. Tim knocked them down giving Queens their largest lead of the game, 7 points, and putting the hopes and dreams of a championship on the edge of oblivion. But there is just something about the Elephants that lasts. A change in the defensive scheme, the Elephants went to a 3-2 zone and played it really well. Robbie and James then stepped up their offensive game. Robbie was once again lights out when he got open. James did a great job getting to the basket and drawing fouls or passing off to the open man. Buffalo Ant knocked down a three and B-Cyrious cleaned up the boards. Noel, who has been nothing less than the ultimate spark plug, came off the bench and cashed in his jumpers. While Kenny did a heck of job setting the tone on driving players, making sure their cruise was never a comfortable one. The Elephants made a run and at half time, playing like absolute excrement, only trailed by 3.

Anicito's head had slipped somewhere else as his passes were rushed and his game time was off. Sitting for the start of the second half proved to get him back to normal as he knocked down some mid-range jumpers. Robbie was unconscious. Three pointer after three pointer, Robert Mahler was the man. While Brian, Kenny, and Anthony got boards, Anicito and Noel aggravated on the perimeter, and James was his classic Jimmy Hustle. The Elephants simply made shots and got stops. The second half of last night's game was phenomenal.

"Cause we are the champions, my friend. And we'll keep on fighting till the end"
The Elephants finally bested Queens and secured their place in MBL history. Last nights victory solidified a lot of time and hard work for all members.

What you mean to us:

Kenny - what you mean to us is leadership, toughness, and sens ability. A light when we cant see. the penis in a mangina.

Robbie - our MVP. our go to man. Without fear and always giving it your all. a penis hole in an apple pie.

B-Cyrious - grit, hard work. sometimes without mention but your effort is a huge reason we're champs. a true warrior. a stiff penis when we arent wearing underwear.

James - a Tasmanian devil of a defender. slick, sliky, finesse. a smile to hold all smiles, inspiring teammate. a smooth penis.

Anicito - gives us all he's got like it will be his last game. ultimate teammate, loyal to the core. a veiny penis.

Noel - a true friend first. our delegate and sniper. sacrifice is in your blood. a chopped off penis only to be sewed back on with a few extra inches.

Buffalo Ant - determined and willed to success. realistic and knowledgeable of expectations. an outlined sketch of a penis that is life size and true.

The Elephants celebrated their victory at KJs last night. It was a fun filled night of spray beers, poured down the collar beers, jack shots, car bombs, dance-offs, and complete silliness, everything an Elephant is made of.

Special thanks to all supporters of the Flying Elephants. All family and friends. Christine for always being there, Brit for not being there in fear Brian would blame you if we lost (i still missed you), Christie for keeping the Elephants in her heart, Joe for almost making it out but had a volleyball game, even the haters like Bobby and Jay - you cant put an elephant in a box. Great victory guys, I love you all. Let's do it again this season. Enjoy some pics from last night's after-party. Notice every one's beer stains.